I got eyeball to eyeball with my demons
and said,
"Damn you!
Don't you dare tempt me
with another frail waif
who just needs 'daddy'
to love her so that she
can grow and reach
her po-ten-tial!"
And yet they have...
But I haven't fallen for it. I said,
"Show me instead
a woman;
a woman who is in her own image,
not the shadow of her father's making,
a woman who flies with her own courage
or knowingly
crashes for lack of it;
a woman
who 'sees a world in a grain of sand
and heav'n in a wild flower,
holds infinity in the palm of her hand
and eternity in an hour.'
"Turn my head all you want
with cute and fun
and the girls who would make googoo eyes
and flirt like it's midnight,
but I will not
give in again. Instead,
show me a woman who's all that
and
ready to run with wolves.
"Show me a woman
who could want me
but not need me.
Show me a woman
who knows the difference.
A woman
who is strong but with the heart of a doe.
A woman who would know
that if I were to love her,
it would be because
of the crack of lightning,
and the rustle of dry leaves,
the movement of planets
and the music of spheres
the light in her laugh
and the warmth in her breasts,
her longing for beauty,
and her passion for flame,
because of her hair,
because of her eyes,
her valleys and shadows,
her spark of divine.
"You show me that woman
and I
will
buckle.
I will dance the dance of swords
and push back the stone.
I will exhaust myself and lay open
all of my heart spaces and hope,
hope...
hope...
that she will see me
and come
out of desire born
of her heart places
to meet in the sweet summer sunset
with one of her own kind."
I felt so smug
and safe
in my resolve.
No way
would they manage to find
such a woman
who could meet my demands.
My solitude was protected,
my nights were all mine...
I have long suspected
my demons and gods,
are still deliberating
as to their affections
or lack thereof toward me.
But
they do delight
in tormenting me.
They just answer my prayers.
