May 23, 1995

Second grade is just about over and I don't think there has ever been a better second grader. This has been a tough year for me, but you seem to be thriving and growing and learning and blossoming just fine. You don't talk to me as much as you used to – we use to have really great heart-to-heart talks. You seem to find it hard to share your feelings with me now. Maybe it's tough for you because you share me at this house, yet at your mother's house, it's just you and her. That must be a much more intense one-on-one time for you.

You still play with Julia quite a bit, and you just told me tonight on the phone that your mom got a new house which is in Julia's neighborhood, so you guys will grow up a lot together I suspect. Olivia seems to be a pretty good friend also. Jocelyn is still in there but you guys are sort of "off and on again" friends. That's OK, she's still pretty spoiled!

You absolutely love to read now. If I don't come into your room and make you turn out your light, you'll read till 11:00 or later. It's hard to make you stop, because I love to see you read. It will be your key to your future! It will grow your imagination, your thirst, your ambition, your understanding of your world and the people in your life. Reading will teach you so much more than any one person will ever be able to. I feel like I have many allies and assistants in your education and growth now. You'll be able to sit at the foot of the greatest people in history, and they will speak directly to you through their writing, and teach you and guide you. I'm sure your mom must be just as thrilled as I am to see you reading so avidly.

You also continue to become more and more like me every day. It is heart warming and gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling to see so much of me in you. But it also gives me pause for concern. I see you experience a lot of the same feelings I always did while growing up And though I would love to keep pain and heartache away from you, I know it will be the forge that will strengthen your medal as you go through life. It would be like stealing from you to save you from what you must experience.

If it is of any consolation; when you feel as if you are somehow singled out by life to be on the sidelines and watch as the people you know appear to "have it all" – sort of like being on the platform and watching the train roll out with all your friends on it while you are left beside the tracks on your own: I've been there too. I fear that is a bit of my legacy to you. The good news is: the places you must go, the things you must learn, the achievements you must own; you must do by your self. This will make them your accomplishments and will make you a strong and powerful woman.

When I look at you, I sense that there is some truly important reason you are here with us. You are far older and wiser than your elders. I sense that you have been here many times before and have a greater purpose for returning. I believe this is not just the ramblings of the proudest father on earth, but the observations of another old soul.

Be of strong heart, my daughter, and remember, God will never hand you a problem you cannot overcome. If your problems sometimes seem greater, God must consider you greater than you imagine.

My prayer for you is that you grow and become. Become the best Allison Rae Ward Seidel you can possibly be. Meet all your challenges with courage, and make all your lessons valuable.

I love you.
Dad

 
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